as things are. things will be.

sitting in the seat of shame
knowing there's no one to blame
happiness is out of reach
but in our hearts it does beseech
why have things become this way
is this the way that they must stay
mysteries excite our selves
souls and bodies nymphs and elves
hearts and brains this isn't real
then why is it we always feel
we are we and they are us
no reason to make a fuss
love is tender love is mild
love is nothing without child
just because we want to be
something that the others see
something that makes me be me
proves that we can not be free
but why hold freedom as a goal
a way to please the heartless soul
freedom without love is fake
living just for your own sake
free from who or what she asks
free from you. menial tasks
freedom from the things that are
freedom from house job and car
freedom can never exist
this is a point that can't be missed
but who needs freedom antway
what do we call freedom today
something that freedom is not
something false missing the spot
the people will always hold
responsibilities untold
limiting free choice and will
guiding people to fulfill
purpose and truth until
all of existence becomes still
but this is not the way of good
it's not the direction of should
we must do what we must feel
we must be nothing but real
people are more than they do
people must do what is true
in doing that through and through
i am me and you are you

we are all circles

everythings a circle. everythings a cycle. it's all just movement in loops and spirals.

one of my favorite books is titled, "I am a Strange Loop" - it's basic point is that the concept of the self arises from nothing more than our mind's ability to represent itself and continuously update that representation as it is affected by experience. it serves as an argument for the computational nature of the mind and the possibility to computationalize consciousness. The concept comes so naturally that I had no trouble accepting nearly every point as i quickly turned through the pages.

This account of our conscious awareness won't be the focus of this post, but it will be beneficial to understand the foundation off of which i intend to contemplate the nature of interpersonal love.

to distract myself, i often spend my time on tumblr, usually favoriting and reblogging pictures that resonate with my mindset. about a week ago, a picture (accompanied by some text) on my dashboard caught my eye. i was quick to favorite it and after a few days, when i had time to spend updating my personal page, i reblogged the photo and added a caption similar to what is now the title of this post - "we're all just circles"..here is the photo:

for all of my life and, i assume, the lives of everyone living today, homosexuality has been one of the most culturally controversial topics. I have posted once before about the concept of marriage and the inability of many to accept the transformation of the term - and, in turn, our culture - to account for the union of homosexuals, but i have hardly delved into the topic of homosexual love.

to be clear, i've got a strictly hetero-orientation. I'm just nearly obsessed with the concept of love because, in my opinion, it is an all-encompassing notion that can explain all interaction. not only does it impact our interpersonal relationships, but it really is the driving force behind every interaction a being can have with its environment. beings love beings and that love is what guides them in continuing their existence. everything in existence should be thought of as a being. all of existence is the greatest being of all and that is my concept of god. if there is a word denoting a tangible concept, then in my mind, i would consider that concept as a being. say we have concept x, if we can say x is being x, then x is a being. the sweater i am wearing is a being because the sweater is being a sweater and an item of clothing and whatever else you can think of the sweater being (if i wear it as a turban, then it is being a turban). and i am certainly a being - there should be no qualms with that. there is some degree of love between me and my sweater and that love is what has guided me to wear it today. i love existence, so i choose to continue to exist - to interact with the beings of existence.

so..about the picture..

as you can see, people are represented as circles with protruding shapes representing their gender. sexuality is guided by love. sexual orientation is accounted for by how these different shapes overlap.

while it is important to be aware of the sexual inclinations of others in some instances, for the most sexual orientation should have no bearing on the judgments we make about the people we interact with. i love women..but i also love men..and i love all animals - independent of their gender. it's our expression of love that causes people discomfort.

when in a relationship of mutual love (in an ideal world, this would be a redundant phrase), the best thing to do is learn and be aware of the desires and tendencies of your relationship partner. it's best to express love in such a way that all parties involved are satisfied with the nature of the loving relationship. the only way to have this awareness of desires is to communicate with your partner. it is not enough to signify their sexual orientation with a silly symbol.

we are all just circles. attracted to other circles through our loving tendencies. maybe one day, each person will be expressed by their own unique symbol to allow for computer analysis to determine all orientation and desires of that person - in this hypothetical world, love would not be free. luckily, in this current day, we are all internal. while our bodies are the unique symbols that represent all that we are, there is no computer analysis that can determine exactly what it is that will make us happy. often, not even self-analysis can reveal that.

it takes action and interaction. eventually, through this, we can hopefully find others whose satisfaction and happiness is inversely correlated with our own.

this is easy with simple objects lacking happiness or the ability to feel.. we can project whatever happiness we have held within onto these beings and feel satisfied with the pleasure we receive from these interactions. once the concept of life is introduced, we must have a much more keen awareness of the states of the beings  we interact with. everything that lives has goals. the ability for us to understand those goals and do what we can to assist, or at least not hinder, the being's pursuit of goals is the sole(soul) purpose of love.

man or woman, gay or straight, we should all love each other. we should work to understand where we all stand amongst each other and act accordingly. we love for each other. life would be incomplete without it. we're all circles and none of us wants to be empty.

my christianity

i'm all about family. the best way for me to think of spirituality is in the context of family.

we are all the children of god. i like to think of god as the father and nature as the mother..mother nature. the analogy works out fine. Although normally..when not thinking religiously, i think of god and nature as synonymous. which is cool because in christianity, marriage unites two beings into one. But in this relationship, as sometimes we might think of the mother providing the order around the house and the father provides the means of life support for the family, i think of god as being the energy and substance that interacts with the order of the laws of nature bringing about existence of the family of beings. i use this analogy only because it is the type of structure that i am most familiar with. plus i sort of feel that god gives us new opportunities for religious thinking in order for us to relate with him best in contexts that we're familiar with. and that's why there are so many different religions. God wants all of his people to live for him and understand his plan to work for the ultimate good. so in different cultures there are different religions because god interacted with people of those cultures to establish structure to lead to the ultimate good of that culture. problems have arisen now as the world has become smaller and religious beliefs (which have taken on meanings god never intended) interfere with one another. The point of god is goodness and the point of religions is to help us understand what goodness is and how we should act in order to achieve it.

so god's family and christianity.. Jesus was real. He is the ultimate big brother. While you all reading this are my brothers and sister (some big and some little), jesus was the perfect brother who did exactly as god would do. he was abel and the jews who couldn't stand him in his life were cain. ah biblical reference. he was just too perfect for them to tolerate.

in a family, there is this idea of unconditional love. you love your family just because..independent of their actions. sometimes actions stand in the way of a good relationship between family members, but in a loving family, familial love is stronger than any disruptive actions. the love remains. we have got to think of existence as familial. and god and nature as the single parent soul leading this family in love. so although we may not have good relationships with people, we should still love them. there are different levels of love, but among all things there should be the essential familial love of ultimate existence in god's family.

jesus loved all. in families, some members get along better with others because their personalities are more in tune. all the members love each other, but some people have more similar views and interests than others. the great thing about families is that everyone accepts one another for who they are. Unless one attribute or tendency of a member is extremely detrimental to the well-being of the family as a whole, members of a family are going to let each other be as they are. It's all about respect for the personhood of one another.

this is how we should love here on earth today. wwjd. jesus loves. we should too. who cares about difference of opinion. we don't have to get along to get along. as long as we all are working for the greatest good love should guide us to happiness.

synchronicity

coincidence with meaning. ever since i learned the term (coined by Carl Jung), examples have been popping up like zits on an 8th grader's forehead. it's strange that the meaning behind most of these coincidences has involved spirituality or religion. it is nice how we can attribute the causal force behind such coincidences to our God. this lets us refer to a structured account of how we should interpret these coincidental interactions to give them meaning - an account we find in the Bible. and what's most interesting about the Bible is that it is a key source of synchronistic experience. how often do people find the perfect verse to help them get through the tough time they've been having? sadly, because my devotion has never been too significant, i've never experienced any synchronicity with the Bible, despite my countless efforts closing my eyes opening the book and pointing to a random place on the page.

I'm not so familiar with the Bible, so i've just been relying on my own reasoning and experiences to determine what the synchronistic events should mean. Using my knowledge of God and the order of Nature and what ought to be, i can usually come to an interpretation that lets me act appropriately. Most times, i'm good to go and my decision was beneficial to the overall well-being of myself and others. There are other times when I fail though and am left with regret and disappointment. I guess I've moved past simply talking about reacting to synchronistic interactions and am now just talking about acting in general. I should write this paper that was due last wednesday. goodnight nobody

smiles and eye contact

as i walk through campus i can't help but appreciate the beauty and magnificence of nature and my environment. the realization of how lucky i am always leaves me with a smile on my face. i smile as i walk and sometimes even whistle..just lovin life. most people i pass don't seem to be lovin life so much and i never know how to handle the minor interactions. should i hide my smile? avert my eyes to avoid contact?

usually, i'll subtle my smile and avert my eyes for a bit then go back for eye contact right about passing time - if their eyes are on mine, i'll do a little head nod and sorta smirk/smile or whatever - more on the right side of my face than the left. it's always nice when they smile back

my favorite is when i pass another appreciating the environment. it's like we have a little connection sharin the god-love. it's like "yes..this is awesome. good to see you're lovin it too"

life is amazing