we are all circles

everythings a circle. everythings a cycle. it's all just movement in loops and spirals.

one of my favorite books is titled, "I am a Strange Loop" - it's basic point is that the concept of the self arises from nothing more than our mind's ability to represent itself and continuously update that representation as it is affected by experience. it serves as an argument for the computational nature of the mind and the possibility to computationalize consciousness. The concept comes so naturally that I had no trouble accepting nearly every point as i quickly turned through the pages.

This account of our conscious awareness won't be the focus of this post, but it will be beneficial to understand the foundation off of which i intend to contemplate the nature of interpersonal love.

to distract myself, i often spend my time on tumblr, usually favoriting and reblogging pictures that resonate with my mindset. about a week ago, a picture (accompanied by some text) on my dashboard caught my eye. i was quick to favorite it and after a few days, when i had time to spend updating my personal page, i reblogged the photo and added a caption similar to what is now the title of this post - "we're all just circles"..here is the photo:

for all of my life and, i assume, the lives of everyone living today, homosexuality has been one of the most culturally controversial topics. I have posted once before about the concept of marriage and the inability of many to accept the transformation of the term - and, in turn, our culture - to account for the union of homosexuals, but i have hardly delved into the topic of homosexual love.

to be clear, i've got a strictly hetero-orientation. I'm just nearly obsessed with the concept of love because, in my opinion, it is an all-encompassing notion that can explain all interaction. not only does it impact our interpersonal relationships, but it really is the driving force behind every interaction a being can have with its environment. beings love beings and that love is what guides them in continuing their existence. everything in existence should be thought of as a being. all of existence is the greatest being of all and that is my concept of god. if there is a word denoting a tangible concept, then in my mind, i would consider that concept as a being. say we have concept x, if we can say x is being x, then x is a being. the sweater i am wearing is a being because the sweater is being a sweater and an item of clothing and whatever else you can think of the sweater being (if i wear it as a turban, then it is being a turban). and i am certainly a being - there should be no qualms with that. there is some degree of love between me and my sweater and that love is what has guided me to wear it today. i love existence, so i choose to continue to exist - to interact with the beings of existence.

so..about the picture..

as you can see, people are represented as circles with protruding shapes representing their gender. sexuality is guided by love. sexual orientation is accounted for by how these different shapes overlap.

while it is important to be aware of the sexual inclinations of others in some instances, for the most sexual orientation should have no bearing on the judgments we make about the people we interact with. i love women..but i also love men..and i love all animals - independent of their gender. it's our expression of love that causes people discomfort.

when in a relationship of mutual love (in an ideal world, this would be a redundant phrase), the best thing to do is learn and be aware of the desires and tendencies of your relationship partner. it's best to express love in such a way that all parties involved are satisfied with the nature of the loving relationship. the only way to have this awareness of desires is to communicate with your partner. it is not enough to signify their sexual orientation with a silly symbol.

we are all just circles. attracted to other circles through our loving tendencies. maybe one day, each person will be expressed by their own unique symbol to allow for computer analysis to determine all orientation and desires of that person - in this hypothetical world, love would not be free. luckily, in this current day, we are all internal. while our bodies are the unique symbols that represent all that we are, there is no computer analysis that can determine exactly what it is that will make us happy. often, not even self-analysis can reveal that.

it takes action and interaction. eventually, through this, we can hopefully find others whose satisfaction and happiness is inversely correlated with our own.

this is easy with simple objects lacking happiness or the ability to feel.. we can project whatever happiness we have held within onto these beings and feel satisfied with the pleasure we receive from these interactions. once the concept of life is introduced, we must have a much more keen awareness of the states of the beings  we interact with. everything that lives has goals. the ability for us to understand those goals and do what we can to assist, or at least not hinder, the being's pursuit of goals is the sole(soul) purpose of love.

man or woman, gay or straight, we should all love each other. we should work to understand where we all stand amongst each other and act accordingly. we love for each other. life would be incomplete without it. we're all circles and none of us wants to be empty.

smiles and laughter

happy happy

hands are clappy

all this love makes me so sappy

funniness and bunniness

bringing nothing else but bliss

playing games and hearing words

for which we relate as they're heard

knowing that we both feel it

not sure what, don't let it quit

eye contact and seeing smiles

lets the feeling last a while

back and forth the laughter goes

building as happiness grows

mirror mirror..seeing your face

express my feelings in this place

you're not me and i'm not you

but at this time it all is true

this is goodness through and through

so let the laughter encompass

mind and being with happiness

share the feeling with a friend

know it will come to an end

and leave the self open to more

always free to laugh galore

smiles never hurt a fly

or any other sort of guy

genuity and realness win

hiding happiness is a sin

just leave your heart out and open

always ready to let love in

happy and good should be akin

smile, laugh, and always grin

boats driftwood and the sea of love

we're all connected through the waters of love. all relationships are governed by our love for each other. this is not only interpersonal, but extends throughout all of existence. i love animals. i love trees. i love nature. i share that love with others and in this, we are related.

we all float in this sea of love - this sea of life - this sea of existence - being drawn to those things that attract us..to those things that harness our hearts and our minds.

we all are born to families so none of us is ever alone. we may feel like driftwood at times, but its always good to remember we never leave the boat on which we were born or the boat in which we were raised. each of us can be thought of as wood and love as the nails that bind us into a substantial floating vessel that can be guided and directed in the vast sea of existence for the good of the boat unit.

what makes this weird is when multiple boats are bound. each boat desires to head in similar yet different directions. when boats are not interested in becoming one, but desire to remain individual. those binding the boats are torn. which direction is best. which provides the most safety and structure.

our love often tears us from the boat in which we are most secure and forces us to embark on our own or with another in hopes of forming a new boat. we must be delicate in breaking the loving ties binding us to the boats that offer security because once the ropes of love are too frayed, it becomes difficult to retie he loving knots that bind.

when a storm comes, we all want to be on the boat most equipped to handle the trouble. i guess its best to set sail in good weather and steer the boat around the storms. sometimes that can't be guaranteed though and nobody wants to be the driftwood getting tossed around and torn apart by the harshness of nature.

basically, we must choose our boats wisely and understand that love is what guides all interaction. we shouldn't take advantage of the love offered, but appreciate it and use it for the good of the boat being bound by it. its necessary to keep in mind the types of love binding the self to other boats and to ensure that your actions are not going to harm your ability to remain on the boats that are important to you. - say you're on a frienship boat with a bunch of pals..a girlfriend is on this boat, tightly bound to one of your friends. you should not make advances on the girlfriend unless you are willing to give up your spot on the boat of friends or at least give up your loving bond with the friend with the girlfriend.

it's important to respect the relationships you establish and to be honest with your desires and actions. if you aren't, you can easily be left as a lonely piece of driftwood being tossed around by the harshness.

pets are for petting

take a look outside and notice all the dogs. walk a few blocks in the city and realize the number of signs on telephone poles for lost pets. our grocery stores have pet sections. craigslist has an overwhelming number of lost and found pet ads. how has our society come to this?

when I was younger we got Garvey. he was a rescue. we gave him a home. it took time to acclimate him with our family and structure. he was a good dog. we got him because Bud (my big bro) begged for a dog, but he belonged to the whole family. It's no surprise that Bud loved him most.

Time passed. Garvey got sick. We now have his ashes in a wooden box. there is really no need to keep them because we all will remember him no matter, but now we've got a token to reignite the memory.

Dogs (and all pets) provide company. they are something to love. something that will love you regardless of your personal relations. Why do we always need to feel loved? why must our love be reciprocated?

i love a number of things that will never actively love me back. love strengthens the heart. loving alone can do the trick, but so many of us are not happy with loving and receiving nothing in return. Thats why pets are good. they make us feel needed - because we are. Pet owners are the sole providers for their pets. they are the only source of sustainment.

Pets provide purpose. for those who can't commit to larger purposeful relationships, a relationship with a pet can be necessary. for those who have no trouble committing but have excess love to express - those who want to feel that their purpose is as plentiful as possible, they may also feel that pets are necessary. but there is so much other purpose out there.

our society now needs pet-owners because the pet market is enormous. there is no breaking the cycle and there is no need to break it. there will always be people desiring the unconditional love from their pets.

Bud wanted something that wouldn't judge him but would still actively love him. no books or television shows needed him they way he wanted to be needed. Garvey filled that void.

We now have Rex..a little Jack Russell. he certainly needs us. but nobody really wants to be needed. we already have enough purpose in our lives and Rex just barks incessantly. He needs much more attention than we have to give. He's made me question the worth of pets.

that's why i ramble now. pets are cute things that let you feel needed. it isn't difficult to show them your love and they don't judge you by your interactions. Their thoughts are fleeting and their conceptions are relatively stable. They love those who love them and don't ask questions.

As the owner of a pet, you can be as you like with it. it will appreciate any positive interaction you have with it. play fetch or tug of war. rub their belly or scratch their head. as long as you remain their source of sustenance, they'll keep coming back for more.

it all seems shallow to me..but i guess thats what pets are for. shallow loving interaction. like rubbing bellies and scratching heads..pets are there to be pet.

being good

let's just be honest..

let's just be good..

let's just acknowledge

love understood.

people are being

all that they want.

nothing but selfish

no goodness up front.

goodness is missed

goodness is had

the good are just being

overcome with bad.

now is the time to

look into the sky

to ask in wonderment

but goodness, but why?

how can we ever

know what is the best

if what makes us happy

is worse than the rest?

emotions are fleeting

love's always alive.

living for goodness

means letting love thrive.

it's time we consider

what we're living for.

life is for goodness,

there is nothing more

marriage = unification

Isn't marriage just the unification of a man and a woman in loving bond?

i think about love a lot. there are so many degrees of love..but to me, romantic love is an important aspect of love since it traditionally represents the attractive force that can eventually bond two sets of human genes to produce offspring. Once in love, a man and a woman can marry and commit to each other and to the common good of their relationship.

Gay marriage and the entire concept of homosexual romantic love has always been foreign to me. I can't understand the underlying forces behind romantic attraction to one you can't reproduce with. I used to be against the idea of gay marriage because it does alter the common conception of marriage and romantic love. Now I have accepted that as culture changes so does the meaning behind words. But this also allows that while religious cultures remain relatively static, they can maintain the meaning behind their terms and not recognize same sex marriages. while this can be the case, as a whole, our culture is changing and the powers governing legislature and society shouldn't be influenced by the cultural standards set by religious institutions, but should rather support its people - offering protection and the ability to pursue happiness respective of the rights of others. this means that if two people love each other enough for the commitment that marriage entails, then they should have the right to make that commitment and reap its benefits.

The fact that the concept of marriage has always been defined in a religious context makes me uneasy about calling the committed relationship a marriage, but i know it shouldn't feel that way. All of the benefits and unity should be allowed. A marriage in a synagogue results in the same type of relationship as a marriage in a chapel - this should hold for a marriage in a courthouse. One problem with this idea is that a key tenet of marriage is that the united couple then has the backing of the church and commits to more than just each other, but to an overall ideal. Marriages are becoming more and more flaky and they will continue to as the concept loses its religious connotation unless people find something another common purpose to relate on in forming the terms of their marriage.

There is nothing wrong with homosexual attraction. Each of us expresses homosexual love, but only a minority experience homosexual romantic love and attraction. All people deserve the same rights to happiness. There is no reason to inhibit that happiness because of a persons sexual tendencies (unless their like a pedo or necro or something).

So i guess the answer to my question is, "no..not anymore"

definite love

i think i'm in...definite love

what does that meannn?! i guess i'll have to use my faculties of interpretation....

well i know i'm in definite love. but this definite love is encompassing and comes in degrees. i'm just one fella in a sea of people love. just floating around being attracted to and repelled from others through the force of love. The 'others' i'm connected to through love are not all people - for there are certainly animals and even inanimate objects i love, but the relationship between myself and other people is special because of the ideas of mutual and reciprocal love.

* So I guess relationships with animals could involve the back-and-forth love between people, but it lacks the complexity of 'true love'. *

the true love between people is special though because of our capacity to relate. those we can relate and empathize with best should become most closely connected in this sea of people love.

love is definite, but never can the love in a single relationship ever be definite. it can become seemingly static, but experiences always sway that love in varying degrees of compassion and attraction.

i'm in definite love. and i'm definitely in love. i'm certainly connected in loving relationships with people. and these loving relationships don't just go away. they persist. only when communication ceases for great time does the relationship fade. but definite love requires an ability for the love to be defined. and that the definition hold. i don't see that ever happening.

i am one in love. being and loving. definitely in the great realm of love, just relatively unaware of the definition of this love.

this is cheating

i wrote this for two amazing people over a month ago, but it's stuff that's been on my mind and i thought it'd probably be better to post up here so as to keep it with all of my thoughts. so really just thanks r & s for being my inspiration : )

God is the ultimate force behind all existence. I feel like living a life for God..for Goodness..for Truth..will bring fulfillment and happiness in life. I can't imagine afterlife. My conception of myself is reliant on my body..my physical existence. It would be nice if there were some explanation for how a soul could transcend its body and instantiate itself free of neural organization. I don't see how I would be the same individual in death as I am in life. I am my brain and body so i feel like I will be no more once my brain and body are no longer functioning. Maybe there is some sort of bliss in death that comes as a reward for living a fulfilling life. Maybe somehow our individuality perpetuates in death and we still have memories from life on earth. I just don't know enough. I feel God does have a goal though. In my opinion, God is purposeful existence. What is the purpose? I guess that is yet unknown.. I feel that God is guiding the collective knowledge of man to a point of complete understanding of Nature. Every physical interaction has a purpose and plays a role in shaping humanity and the future of the natural universe. I feel like the only way that we can really think of our identities being eternalized is by leaving a substantial footprint on the progress of humanity and society. As long as there is an existing conception of your identity in some mind, you exist in some shape or form even if you die. the essential youness won't exist (at least like physically) without your brain and body, but like Jesus and Socrates, if you have a significant impact on humanity, your life will not be forgotten and the concept of you will live on. This is kind of depressing though because so many people have significant impacts on the immediate lives of many, but their memory doesn't survive through multiple generations. I want to believe that there is a heaven, but I can't imagine the reality of it other than just pure bliss free of all worldly cares. I look to God for guidance almost daily. I respect the fact that I am a part of God's existence and that he is the causal force behind all interaction. i hope that by following signs and instincts, i will be led down the path that God finds best suited. Love is key and I am not stingy with sharing mine. I think that reciprocal emotion and communication through emotional expression are both major factors in establishing true comfortable relationships in which both parties understand each others' perspective. that's why holding back emotions when with friends or family is counterproductive. If you want to have a comfortable understanding relationship with someone you've obviously got to open up. I like to call this sharing my God-love. It's like the emotional connection between people..or more that people have with one another and with other physical objects.

So basically that's where i'm at. I don't go to church or read the bible. I have one good friend - my suitemate from first semester last year who got arrested for multiple drug felonies last winter - who has found God and had an experience that he can't put into words. He is now clean as a whistle and living his life for God. He's invited me to Gospel and bible study a few times, but I'm just so busy that I can't make it. I went once just to support him as he told his story of finding God and turning his life around. It's apparent that God is making moves in the lives of those I love and if I really consider my life, I'd say that he is speaking to me through myself and my experiences as well.

my christianity

i'm all about family. the best way for me to think of spirituality is in the context of family.

we are all the children of god. i like to think of god as the father and nature as the mother..mother nature. the analogy works out fine. Although normally..when not thinking religiously, i think of god and nature as synonymous. which is cool because in christianity, marriage unites two beings into one. But in this relationship, as sometimes we might think of the mother providing the order around the house and the father provides the means of life support for the family, i think of god as being the energy and substance that interacts with the order of the laws of nature bringing about existence of the family of beings. i use this analogy only because it is the type of structure that i am most familiar with. plus i sort of feel that god gives us new opportunities for religious thinking in order for us to relate with him best in contexts that we're familiar with. and that's why there are so many different religions. God wants all of his people to live for him and understand his plan to work for the ultimate good. so in different cultures there are different religions because god interacted with people of those cultures to establish structure to lead to the ultimate good of that culture. problems have arisen now as the world has become smaller and religious beliefs (which have taken on meanings god never intended) interfere with one another. The point of god is goodness and the point of religions is to help us understand what goodness is and how we should act in order to achieve it.

so god's family and christianity.. Jesus was real. He is the ultimate big brother. While you all reading this are my brothers and sister (some big and some little), jesus was the perfect brother who did exactly as god would do. he was abel and the jews who couldn't stand him in his life were cain. ah biblical reference. he was just too perfect for them to tolerate.

in a family, there is this idea of unconditional love. you love your family just because..independent of their actions. sometimes actions stand in the way of a good relationship between family members, but in a loving family, familial love is stronger than any disruptive actions. the love remains. we have got to think of existence as familial. and god and nature as the single parent soul leading this family in love. so although we may not have good relationships with people, we should still love them. there are different levels of love, but among all things there should be the essential familial love of ultimate existence in god's family.

jesus loved all. in families, some members get along better with others because their personalities are more in tune. all the members love each other, but some people have more similar views and interests than others. the great thing about families is that everyone accepts one another for who they are. Unless one attribute or tendency of a member is extremely detrimental to the well-being of the family as a whole, members of a family are going to let each other be as they are. It's all about respect for the personhood of one another.

this is how we should love here on earth today. wwjd. jesus loves. we should too. who cares about difference of opinion. we don't have to get along to get along. as long as we all are working for the greatest good love should guide us to happiness.

smiles and eye contact

as i walk through campus i can't help but appreciate the beauty and magnificence of nature and my environment. the realization of how lucky i am always leaves me with a smile on my face. i smile as i walk and sometimes even whistle..just lovin life. most people i pass don't seem to be lovin life so much and i never know how to handle the minor interactions. should i hide my smile? avert my eyes to avoid contact?

usually, i'll subtle my smile and avert my eyes for a bit then go back for eye contact right about passing time - if their eyes are on mine, i'll do a little head nod and sorta smirk/smile or whatever - more on the right side of my face than the left. it's always nice when they smile back

my favorite is when i pass another appreciating the environment. it's like we have a little connection sharin the god-love. it's like "yes..this is awesome. good to see you're lovin it too"

life is amazing