we are all circles

everythings a circle. everythings a cycle. it's all just movement in loops and spirals.

one of my favorite books is titled, "I am a Strange Loop" - it's basic point is that the concept of the self arises from nothing more than our mind's ability to represent itself and continuously update that representation as it is affected by experience. it serves as an argument for the computational nature of the mind and the possibility to computationalize consciousness. The concept comes so naturally that I had no trouble accepting nearly every point as i quickly turned through the pages.

This account of our conscious awareness won't be the focus of this post, but it will be beneficial to understand the foundation off of which i intend to contemplate the nature of interpersonal love.

to distract myself, i often spend my time on tumblr, usually favoriting and reblogging pictures that resonate with my mindset. about a week ago, a picture (accompanied by some text) on my dashboard caught my eye. i was quick to favorite it and after a few days, when i had time to spend updating my personal page, i reblogged the photo and added a caption similar to what is now the title of this post - "we're all just circles"..here is the photo:

for all of my life and, i assume, the lives of everyone living today, homosexuality has been one of the most culturally controversial topics. I have posted once before about the concept of marriage and the inability of many to accept the transformation of the term - and, in turn, our culture - to account for the union of homosexuals, but i have hardly delved into the topic of homosexual love.

to be clear, i've got a strictly hetero-orientation. I'm just nearly obsessed with the concept of love because, in my opinion, it is an all-encompassing notion that can explain all interaction. not only does it impact our interpersonal relationships, but it really is the driving force behind every interaction a being can have with its environment. beings love beings and that love is what guides them in continuing their existence. everything in existence should be thought of as a being. all of existence is the greatest being of all and that is my concept of god. if there is a word denoting a tangible concept, then in my mind, i would consider that concept as a being. say we have concept x, if we can say x is being x, then x is a being. the sweater i am wearing is a being because the sweater is being a sweater and an item of clothing and whatever else you can think of the sweater being (if i wear it as a turban, then it is being a turban). and i am certainly a being - there should be no qualms with that. there is some degree of love between me and my sweater and that love is what has guided me to wear it today. i love existence, so i choose to continue to exist - to interact with the beings of existence.

so..about the picture..

as you can see, people are represented as circles with protruding shapes representing their gender. sexuality is guided by love. sexual orientation is accounted for by how these different shapes overlap.

while it is important to be aware of the sexual inclinations of others in some instances, for the most sexual orientation should have no bearing on the judgments we make about the people we interact with. i love women..but i also love men..and i love all animals - independent of their gender. it's our expression of love that causes people discomfort.

when in a relationship of mutual love (in an ideal world, this would be a redundant phrase), the best thing to do is learn and be aware of the desires and tendencies of your relationship partner. it's best to express love in such a way that all parties involved are satisfied with the nature of the loving relationship. the only way to have this awareness of desires is to communicate with your partner. it is not enough to signify their sexual orientation with a silly symbol.

we are all just circles. attracted to other circles through our loving tendencies. maybe one day, each person will be expressed by their own unique symbol to allow for computer analysis to determine all orientation and desires of that person - in this hypothetical world, love would not be free. luckily, in this current day, we are all internal. while our bodies are the unique symbols that represent all that we are, there is no computer analysis that can determine exactly what it is that will make us happy. often, not even self-analysis can reveal that.

it takes action and interaction. eventually, through this, we can hopefully find others whose satisfaction and happiness is inversely correlated with our own.

this is easy with simple objects lacking happiness or the ability to feel.. we can project whatever happiness we have held within onto these beings and feel satisfied with the pleasure we receive from these interactions. once the concept of life is introduced, we must have a much more keen awareness of the states of the beings  we interact with. everything that lives has goals. the ability for us to understand those goals and do what we can to assist, or at least not hinder, the being's pursuit of goals is the sole(soul) purpose of love.

man or woman, gay or straight, we should all love each other. we should work to understand where we all stand amongst each other and act accordingly. we love for each other. life would be incomplete without it. we're all circles and none of us wants to be empty.

boats driftwood and the sea of love

we're all connected through the waters of love. all relationships are governed by our love for each other. this is not only interpersonal, but extends throughout all of existence. i love animals. i love trees. i love nature. i share that love with others and in this, we are related.

we all float in this sea of love - this sea of life - this sea of existence - being drawn to those things that attract us..to those things that harness our hearts and our minds.

we all are born to families so none of us is ever alone. we may feel like driftwood at times, but its always good to remember we never leave the boat on which we were born or the boat in which we were raised. each of us can be thought of as wood and love as the nails that bind us into a substantial floating vessel that can be guided and directed in the vast sea of existence for the good of the boat unit.

what makes this weird is when multiple boats are bound. each boat desires to head in similar yet different directions. when boats are not interested in becoming one, but desire to remain individual. those binding the boats are torn. which direction is best. which provides the most safety and structure.

our love often tears us from the boat in which we are most secure and forces us to embark on our own or with another in hopes of forming a new boat. we must be delicate in breaking the loving ties binding us to the boats that offer security because once the ropes of love are too frayed, it becomes difficult to retie he loving knots that bind.

when a storm comes, we all want to be on the boat most equipped to handle the trouble. i guess its best to set sail in good weather and steer the boat around the storms. sometimes that can't be guaranteed though and nobody wants to be the driftwood getting tossed around and torn apart by the harshness of nature.

basically, we must choose our boats wisely and understand that love is what guides all interaction. we shouldn't take advantage of the love offered, but appreciate it and use it for the good of the boat being bound by it. its necessary to keep in mind the types of love binding the self to other boats and to ensure that your actions are not going to harm your ability to remain on the boats that are important to you. - say you're on a frienship boat with a bunch of pals..a girlfriend is on this boat, tightly bound to one of your friends. you should not make advances on the girlfriend unless you are willing to give up your spot on the boat of friends or at least give up your loving bond with the friend with the girlfriend.

it's important to respect the relationships you establish and to be honest with your desires and actions. if you aren't, you can easily be left as a lonely piece of driftwood being tossed around by the harshness.

"who are you being right now?"

-i'm being me. myself..who are you being?

-"i'm being a-dot."

-well i guess i'd say i'm being stevie.

is stevie the same as steve..as steven..as smdaniel?

simply, yes. but only to me. how about to you? if you know stevie, then you know stevie. if you know steve, then you know steve. if you know steven..then guess what..you know steven. you all know me. but none of you know me.

what's in a person's name?

to me, my name represents how other people know me and can refer to me. just a silly label like every other word. and like every other word, ever person forms their own concept over time depending on exposure.

i'm never being anyone. i'm always being me. it just depends on who you're perceiving me to be.

but i guess the question now is, "does me being me involve me acting differently when being referred to as different names?"..like does my being consist of my tendency to come off as different characters under different names? acting as would be expected of me depending on the name i'm being referred to as..

i'd say yes. people who know me as stevie are my close friends. they expect personal interaction. when i'm interacting with people who refer to me as stevie, i'm more comfortable with myself and relaxed in my environment. steven is who i am in half my classes and labs..the other half refer to me as steve. plus i only ever introduce myself as steve, so when people are conceptualizing my identity under the name steve i'm more apt to experience discomfort and seem more uptight.

i only ever be me. but in being me, i'm being whatever i'm being conceptualized as - stevie, steve, steven, or whatever people think of me as. so often i'm just a face with no name. who remembers names at parties. i sure don't. can't expect other people to.

so who am i being? i'm being whoever you see me as..whoever you know me to be